Forbidden Dream~

Do you ever had a forbidden dream?
Dream like u really wanna make it be your future~
But you do not have the ability~Or something had block your way?
I dropped up my dream coz i don't have the qualification~
A qualification to proof that I'm a science class student and i have the ability to get into medical field~
It still got a path way to get in actually~
But my mum say the risk is too highand I can't afford it~
She don't want me to try~
So~What can I do?
Quarrel with her?
I won't~ because i will be the loser at the end~I knew it~

I was very sad when i heard my mum ask me to drop it~
I run into my room~ Slammed my door shut~
I can't control my emotion~
Non stop of thinking about what can I do~
Asking myself calm down 1st~Only the problem can solve~
But I can'..........

有时候~

今天~
有人问了我一个问题~
他问我~
你了解自己吗？
我愣住了~
不知道要怎么回答~
回家后我静静的想了想~
我？了解自己？

而有时候~
当我遇到很开心的事而笑时~
那种感觉~
很特别~
我很喜欢发自内心笑的感觉~
可是~很不容易~

我~
表面看来很脆弱~
其实~不是的~
没有主见~彷徨~等等~
那~已经是以前的我了~
而他~也已经走进历史了~
有时候~我问意见~
不是我没有主见~
而是我习惯了有参考的例子~
有时候我犹豫不决~
是因为我害怕出错~
脆弱的感觉~由此闵生~

过去的种种~
还是抹不去的~
我回选择牢记着~
因为它可以鉴证~我一路走来不易~
我得来的也不易~
我犯下的过错~
我答应我自己不会再犯~
"U should have to bear your mind, before you make decision."
有人曾经这样劝告过我~
可是我没有记着~
可是当我犯下了不可你补的过错时~
这句话我终于明白了~
可是也太迟了~
事情回不了原点了~

我很喜欢远远的瞻望~
我希望一切问题都好像在我脚下的景物~
一切尽在我预计~控制之中~
可是世事哪有这么完美~
有~也只是在电影情节中~

高中生活里~
我过得比其他人吃力~
我奋斗~我努力~
我并不知道为了什么~
我只知道~
这是我的前途~
至于兴趣~
我一点也没有~
唯一让我感到慰籍的是~
我的朋友~和我的男朋友~
我的朋友中在我需要陪伴的时候陪着我~
而我的男朋友重在我心情低落的时候逗我开心~
使我不再愁眉苦脸~

我很爱哭~
认识我的人都知道~
哭对我来说是一种发泄~
可是很少人会了解这一点~
朋友们安慰我时~
总是喜欢
叫我不要哭~
错了~错了~
你叫我不要哭~
我找不到理由让我自己停止哭泣啊~
我只会越想越开心~
然后又是一阵抽泣声~
不过有朋友安慰也是很幸福的~

可是有时候~
当我无助~彷徨时~
我总是一个人面对~
这时~孤寂又找上我了~
不想面对~可是始终要面对~
无可奈何~
只可怨~我太执著~

Over Persisted~

"Nothing is Impossible, Impossible is Nothing"
I thought it is right~
So~ I just keep walking the way tat i thought it's right~
But actually~
I make a big big mistake~
Yeap~It's a simple idiom as 5years-old child also know it~
But~I~a 17years old girl~
Misunderstood this idiom~
Some body can makes their dreams true~
Because they walk to the right way at the beginning~
N they walk carefully~
They ensure they didn't make any mistake in their journey~
They got the potential to make their dreams become their future~

But me?
Yeap~I also hav a dream~
N i exerted all my strength to make my dream comes true~
But~ i just make a mistake~
I step on a wrong step~
I didn't blame anyone or anything~
Because there's no use to blame~
There's no turning back~
I can't regret~
Because that's my choice~

I have to drop down the dream that i posses~
I have to~
My mum say i'm childish~
ya~ I am~
I'm too innocent~
I'm too stubborn~
I'm too persisted~

Feel so empty~
Like there's no tomorrow~
I hate myself~
I'm wimpish~
Should have to be stronger~
But i cant~~

SPM's OVER!!!!!!!

SPM's OVER!!!!!!!!
Gosh~
Wat i gonna do now?
Shopping? Watching TV? N blablabla for all the holiday?
Wow~ If i do so~
My holiday is gonna to be a meaningless holiday!!!!!
Take an english course?
I'm too lazy to wake up in the early morning~
Go for a dancing class?
No one accompany me~
Find a part time job?
I guaranty no one willing to hire me T.T
Coz i juz can do for half month only~SOB~
So~ I better stay at home n trying to read a book~
LOL~
Ada Ho stay at home n do reading~~~So weird...haha~

Some more i feel like stress still haunting me~
I'm worry about I can't apply the course i wanna study in college~
I noe it's hard for a commerce student to apply into science field~
But at least i've tried~
I noe i will be regret if i din try~
I will feel so sry to myself~
My mum recommend me to study accounting or business~
But i'm not interesting in this field~
And i noe i'm not belongs to this field~
I've no "business sense"~
I noe~ Bcoz i noe myself well~
PLS~PLS~Don't force me to do what i din like to do~
I noe every mum also love their children~
My mum too~But she use another way to show her love~
She worry about me~worry about my future~
Mum force me to do things tat i dun like~
Bcoz I'm mum's daughter~ I'm not an outsider~
But it's too over~I can't breathe~
I have my way to go~
So~Pls~Pls~ Let me go~
N I need your encouragement~Indeed~

女孩的故事~

反正今天得空~

就来和大家说个故事吧~~

在两年前~

一个无论生活还是成绩都平平无奇的十五岁女孩~

接了一通来电后~

兴奋的告诉妈妈~

"妈!! 我可以不用参加数理加强班就申请进入理科班了~"

没错~

女孩从初中一开始就立志要当一名医生~

在这个理科与商科的抉择中~

她最需要的是家人的支持~

可是~

女孩的妈妈听见女孩的这番话后没有为女孩高兴~

只回了一句~

"理科??你那里行??你以为容易吖??你成绩那么烂~"

随后就没有理睬女孩~继续看电视~

那时~

女孩的心几乎是碎掉的~

最后女孩还是有些犹豫的在表格上填上理科班~

她回家后便告诉妈妈~

"妈~ 我选择了理科班~"

女孩的妈妈显得有些不耐烦的说到~

"你留级了不要哭~我也不会为你转校~"

这番话严重的打击了女孩的信心~

让女孩产生了转系的念头~

经过几个星期的考虑后~

意志还不够坚定的女孩~

自行向学校拨了一通电话~

询问转系的手续~

不费几分钟~

女孩便把转系的申请信件写好了~

妈妈也很赞同的在信件上签上了大名~

就这样~

女孩转去了商科系~

一月开学时~

是女孩高中生活恶梦的开始~

她非常抗拒所谓的簿记~商业学~

可是她别无选择~

还是得把它们搞懂~

因为她知道~

这是她的责任~

她也很清楚知道~

在爸妈眼里~

成绩是面子~是一切~

最可悲的是~

高中生活的两年里~

她所付出的~努力的~

都不是为自己而努力~

而是为她爸妈~

现在~女孩长大了~

意志也开始坚定了~

她决定~

念完高二~就出来念COLLEGE~

希望能够花点时间~

申请进入药剂系~

可是又在这关键时刻~

女孩的妈妈~

又泼女孩冷水了~

"你行吗?? 你英文那么烂~ 成绩那么烂!!"

女孩终于忍不住~破口大骂~

"妈! 我是你女儿!! 为什么我做什么你也不支持??!!

我成绩有烂到留级吗??

你的烂是几分那???

你说我数学差~

好!!我努力~~

我拿了个60多70分~

虽然不是很好~可是这是烂吗??

你有称赞过吗??

在我最需要人支持的时候~

你在那里???

你连简单的一句问候也没有!!!"

女孩的妈妈~

也没有说话了~

其实~女孩心里~

还有一番话想要对妈妈说~

可是又不敢开口~

<<妈~你常说我不定性~

这是不是因为我在家是排行最小的?

所以你永远觉得我长不大~

又是不是我在家里常常笑着脸~

所以你觉得我什么都不在乎??

不止是姐姐有压力~

我也会有的~

为什么我和姐姐吵架时~

你总是说是我的错~

说姐姐有压力~要我让她~

妈~我也是有压力的~

我也是会崩溃的~

只是你看不见~

因为我最想当你们心目中的开心果~

可是近年我都笑不出了~

因为我很彷徨~

我很犹豫自己的未来~

你可不可以不要常常都听姐姐的??

可不可以听听我的??

因为路是我的~

小时候~

爸妈把路铺给我~

我觉得很幸福~很庆幸~

觉得这是好路~

可是长大了~

路还是操纵在你们手里~

我会觉得很辛苦~

未来是一条又长又暗的路~

你常常说~

我的字写得很丑~

可是你有没有想过~

当初~

你只教了我捉笔~

却没有教我技巧呢??

那么~我的字丑~

你能完全怪我吗??

我知道你是爱我的~

可是~

在我需要的时候~

你能不能~

支持我??

我这次的选择~

是我人生路途中~

重要的选择~

我在乎你的话~

因为~

我在乎你~>>

A boring HOLIDAY +.+

Today is DEEPAVALI~

Happy DEEPAVALI to all my frenz^^

Haiz~

Stay at home all day~

My aunt ask us to hav dinner v her in Sunway Pyramid~

But my mum said she's lazy~

So~

All of us stay at home n watch TV~ Surfing~

Oh my GOD!!!

I'm damn boring now~

N no mood to study~

Keep playing HAPPY AQUARIUM in facebook all the day~~

haha~

My Fishy very cute de lexh~~

Go n rate my tank ba~

If u got play tis game~

haha^^TQ~~

Shopping Day^^

Today go shopping v Dear~

A happy shopping day~

haha~

He bought me.....

Skin Care..

Heels

Sandals~

Shorts~



And we watch movie too~

Far Cry~
In Time Square~~Premium Class~

So nice~hehe^^

Seminar Day~

Yesterday i go to Seminar V Ida~

We make lot of fun thr~~

haha~

OOPSSS~

I think we take too much photos~

HAha

Exam~Exam~exam...........Moody~~~~~

I'm very tired now yesterday i sleep at 2.00a.m

N wake up at 4.30a.m.

Yeap~U r rite~

I spend all my time to study History~@.@

Study untill sot jor~

But still can't remember all of it~

Tis is 1 of the reason y i feel so moody~

At the end i GIVE UP!!

And keep kachao my fren~~

Tis mayb annoyed her~haha~

Haih~

Just now~

When i saw my Math (UEC) and History paper~

I shocked at it for few seconds~

It's very easy!!!!

But i dunnoe how to do~T,T

A bitz bitz regret tat my lazinesssss and moody too cause i din study all of it~

But sometimes laziness can help to relax~

>.<

Death of my dog very upset me~

It's unbelievable tat he's gone~

It's silence in my house when day turns to night~

A bit weird~Perhaps~

I still not adapt to live without my dear Max~

Take good care of urself, boy~

Do miss u all the time.....

Muackz...

3rd day~

今天是第三天了~
终于有点头绪是谁做的了~
可是没有证据~

刚刚我和爸爸到后面半山那里探望你~
你知道吗?

前几天看你还好好的~
还很皮~
真的很难接受~
被埋葬在后山的是你~
希望你可以快点投胎~
不要再做狗了~
就算要做狗~
也要做个富贵狗~
知道吗??
我爱你~

刚刚去后山~
被蚊子叮到整身都是~
痒死我了>.<

我终于~接受了~大家可不可以为它哀悼??

我终于接受到他已经不在了~

看着他以前的照片~

零碎的录影片段~

这一切一切都已是过去式了~

ROGER说得对~

养宠物~

最怕是跟他别离~

因为~这真的是太快了~

在听到这消息~

我根本来不急反应~

只是为它写BLOG~

隔了一天我终于接受到了~

Dear~ I love you forever~Ever~

今天早上~

我出门时~

如常的摸一摸我的狗~~MAX~才上学~

怎么也想不到~

这竟是我给它最后一次的疼爱~

它于2006年9月16日出世~

2009年10月06日离开了~

享年~2年一个月~

由种种症状~

如吐白沫~不停乱撞~乱翻~

死后牙肉变黑~

它并非自然逝世~也不是病死~

而是中毒身亡~

在我住的区域~

既TAMAN PERTAMA~

这已不是第一宗住家狗被毒死了...

所以~

各位朋友~

请留意自身安全~以防万一~

其实~

我感到很无奈~

我第一只狗~DOLLY~JIWAWA DOG~

它是被其它大狗咬死的~

它被咬的那一刻~

我不在它身边~

当家人送它去医院抢救时~

我也不在它身边~

它走的时候~

我也不在他身边~

它陪了我9年~

当它最需要有人在它身边的时候~

我都不在~

到了这次~

也不例外~

放学回到家~

想和它玩玩~

怎知~

爸爸告诉我它死了~

我还以为爸爸在开玩笑~

我就到外面找它~

我爸爸就告诉我~

它是被毒死的..

我只是看着铁链~愣了~

我不知道怎么形容~

心很痛~可是哭不出来~

MAX~ I LOVE YOU~ I MISS YOU~~

Exam Month~~

Huu..
Juz finish Trial Exam~
But should hav start to prepare Final Exam~
Wat a boring skul life!!
My P.Moral Subject juz score 37~
Although i learn all the Nilai and Definisi~
I juz wrote one word wrong~
N i get a big big cross X .....

N my Chinese Subject!!!!
Shit!!!!!
Paper 2 is damn difficult~~
I dun even noe wat am i writting~~

Haiz...
Nothing to do now~
No mood to study~
History got lotza thingzzz to study....
SienzZzZzZz...

Tis Sunday got seminar in Sunway~~
Excited for it~^^

A happy day

Sunday~
A busy day~
Tuition from 8.30a.m till 10.30~
Proceed at 12.30 till 3.00p.m~
But tuition with frenzz~
Make Lotzzza of fun~

During lunch time~
I hav had a curry mee~
Oh my godness!!!!!
So spicy!!
I can't stand for it!!!
I drink a tin of 100 plus sekali gus~
My tear keep droping down~~

Frustrated~~

Juz hav an quarrel with my mom~
So frustrated with her~
She always discouraged me~
And even embarrassed me~
She always broke her promisses too~

haih~
So tired after a meeting~
Later gotta having dinner with relatives~
A long long time din gathered with them~
So happy~

My daily Life~~

Huu~
Juz came back from tuition centre~
So tired today~
Same as few days ago~
I gotta to rush for reportsT.T
Now is 8.55~
But i haven have my dinner~
Too hungry~
No feeling now~
hope report can fast fast done~^^

Tomolo is Sat ~
So happy~
Can rest ler^^

The 1st Time~

This is the 1st time i write a post~
Dunnoe y~
Tis few days i'm very in a bad mood~
Feel like many things gotta to do~
Tasks never end!!
N i had to do report(a presentation) too!!
Its so annoyed~~
But fortunately i got few good frenz~
Who can share my happiness and sadness~
Ida Chen~
Is one of them~
Hehe~
Izit touching ??
Haha~
I gonna to be a mad gurl~
Have to proceed my work ler~
Good NitezzZz~